What headaches give you

[I'm okay now. =)]


I cried myself to sleep.

At least I was trying to sleep.

But I couldn't.

So I laid on my bed, closed my eyes, and tried to 'think' the pain away.

Doesn't work for nuts.

But hey, at least Panadol works.


Being a pessimist, naturally I thought back about what I wrote in my previous post.

If I sleep and never wake up, I'll miss all of you.

Wrong move.

That's what made me cry.

[Touch wood la k?]


I started thinking about how it was so stupid to just leave when I've found something good in my life. I'm happy where I am now. My friends, family, Handsome.

What pained me even more was that he probably was a little disappointed or not-too-happy after our last conversation online. I don't really know exactly how he felt, but if it was that way, and I just.. left like that.. Not knowing whether all was good isn't exactly how I want it to end.


So there I was, on my bed, my mind wandering.

Thinking about my family and friends. The future. And I felt soOoOOOoo depressed.

I couldn't stop crying.

I felt kinda lost, pain, restless, frustrated, lonely and sad. Does depression make you feel that way?

Now, I'm not saying I have depression. I'm talking about the feeling.


You know,

de·press

1. to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; deject; dispirit.

depress. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved September 26, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/depress


Just the feeling. Not the condition.


Anyway.

Felt terrible. Miserable.

And continued crying.

I cried in waves. Get what I mean?

Cried for several seconds and stopped. Got out of bed and blew my nose.

Repeat 3 times.


Then I became a little optimistic. Very weird.

I thought, "Rather than being there all alone in the room and thinking about nonsense, do something about it so you don't feel that way anymore."

Great plan.


Left the room and played the piano.

=)

Now I can play the first part (beginning till the chorus) of One Summer's Day, from Spirited Away.

Though not that smooth yet. But I can play it better than before! Joy.

Oish. My head hurts again. What to do now? Eat or sleep??


Conclusion. Headaches give you pangs of hunger and negative thoughts and feelings.

---

I'm thinking.. McD. Curry noodles. Indomie!. Maggi Vegetarian flavour. Monterey chicken.

Yeah man..

Nothin' but food to cure an unhealthy mind.

---

Looking forward to tonight. =)

Ah.. Life's good.