It's raining again. With the wind howling again. Just so happened when I started this post.
I was looking through photos of former classmates who are currently doing their degree. They all look so 'normal'. Their life.
Just to put this into context. I'm talking about the life of Malaysian college/university students today. The youths nowadays, at least in my opinion and how it appears to me, go to clubs with friends, dancing and drinking the night away and taking lots of photos to preserve those memories and for the sake of being goofy or whatever. Having fun in classes as well as lunches together in the school cafeteria. There's a happy-go-lucky feel to it. Very happy bunch. Enjoying life with friends whom they are going to be in contact with for the rest of their lives.
Also, seeing photos of the things they do-freelancing, modelling, internships, road trips, school or work-related; opportunities, basically. So, in terms of life as a university student, the life that is known to majority as 'the life of a university student' (I guess you could call it a stereotype), it really makes me wonder, What have I done with my life?
I notice that I don't take chances. The thought was always in my head, but I've never acted upon it. Not once. What crazy thing have I done? What memorable thing have I done, on my own accord, that when I look back, I am glad that I did? I really can't think of any at the moment.
I've never been to a club (What's it like?). I'm seldom out late with friends. Even if I am, Ma always calls at 11pm to say, "Wei no need come back ah?", and repeat in thirty-minute intervals. I hardly drink with friends because, theoretically, I'm not allowed to. But yes, I've experienced a few of those moments. Our road trip plans are always just for show, for some reason (Does anybody know why that's the case??). I don't have university friends that I can do goofy things with on campus or just to hang.
All I think about is coursework, university, and currently, coming home ASAP. Coursework and university even dominates my conversation with Boyfriend most of the time. When I realise and am aware of it, it's annoying for the both of us. Sometimes I even see myself writing academic papers in the future. o.0 Cha dou anot you say?
I've got a really dull life. Although it's filled with love and we do things that are really fun, it doesn't have that hang-out-with-friends, specifically a group of friends-FRIENDS, element to it.
Could it be the restrictions imposed by parents? Or is it just me that I don't take the initiative?
Compare your life and my life. I'm pretty sure it's more interesting than mine. I'm not exactly doing self-pity here although I admit I feel that way a little, but I just had this realisation of what I could be missing out in a university student's life while browsing through the photos.
AND.. I'm also jealous of the relationship one of them, as I've seen from the photos, has with their siblings. They go clubbing together, hang out with each other's friends. Having fun. I'm thinking that it's possible I'm not experiencing it fully as yet, because Sean's away and Hwey doesn't see life that way. The clubbing part. Hehe. I think.
I want to do things in life. I want to take great photos. I want to do something out of the ordinary like join a pageant (Even if I don't entirely agree with the whole idea), get a bunch of piercings, learn a new language, or take dancing and acting lessons (makes you more outgoing and less self-conscious about yourself, I feel); just be out there.
But it's like, I'm so inundated with coursework and worrying about grades, I pack up all my thoughts and put them in the back of my mind. And when I'm free, I take it back out and indulge in reminiscence. Then I put it back.
Now I'm hungry. *drag face*
Goodnight all.
Goodnight, baby. *kiss* I miss you lots.
11 comments:
Maybe it's the outgoing part that you have to improve on. Talk with someone else except Hwey. HahA.
I don't like going clubs; at least those in M'sia. I wanna try Perth's ones. They said it's relaxing and comfortable. Not with smokes around. And I saw before too. No chance to try it yet.
I don't know why you and Hwey are so worry about your cgpa, as if you'll die without getting VERY good grades. Life is not all about studies. If you get what I mean. I feel rather satisfied if my grade is in credit boundaries, while you still can enjoy other stuffs in life. Maybe you both demand higher? I don't know.
hey at least your studies are much much better than mine. heh. I for one don't really have friends in uni either, i don't even have a parking permit at uni cos I don't hang around uni so often.
Life's uni, work, gf for me.
Think about it, no one's ever gonna have enough in their life. Just be contented with what you have now and perhaps strive to change some routine for a change.
And I'm speaking to myself as well :P
malaysia got smoke free clubs u can try like, MOS Euphoria in Sunway. IF U REALLY WANT LAH
but clubbing is nothing fun unless u'r with great and crazy crowd. It's just loud music, drinking, dancing and get to know more girls/guys if u'r single. Go experience one time lor.. i want to try overseas clubs only lo [got strippers hehe] if u want to just sit down, chill .. then go back old town white coffee
outing part. U mmg always choose to stay home and dont socialize much so tht one blame urself hahaha.. I feel lonely also lo when all of u left then bird lectured me like crazy.. he said where got ppl only mix with one same old gang of ppl wan.. then i start to mix a bit with coll frens. then now ok a bit not so sien liao..
no need worry so much bout ur cgpa now lah. u'r not used to the environment n all.. after this semester everything will be fine wan.. just do ur best dont keep thinking bout ur grades dropping like stock market.. the more u think the more stressed up lor.. take a deep breath, chill and relax.. then work hard.
*loads of moral support from ur kampung =)*
I have moments like this too. Not so elaborate lah.
You have the clubbing part right. I'd much prefer pubs/bistros, something mellow lah.
*pointedly* You wanna take great photos huh..
Why are you even thinking about pageants?! Like dolls leh.. I know they have a life and it's much colourful and the experience is amazing and all, but really.. parade in fugly clothing, smile all the time, and act like an angel?? C'mon, no one's an angel. There's a bitch in every girl.
Vel:
I think we're so caught up with grades is because our parents spend so much money on our education that if we screw it up, really seems like a waste and very 败家 in some way.
Nicole:
Why don't you just go to Thailand ah?
hwey: eh i want also lo. the other time i went pattaya.. but was with mum and aunts.. summor tht time so young cannot go in!
now no one teman. takan ask bird teman me watch male strippers wan ma.. right or not?
You don't have to screw your studies la. But don't have to stress up too much about the cgpa. If the grade is still acceptable, I don't think your parents are gonna feel bad anyway. Like that not so 败家 la hor.
Everyone's comment is damn long to read up. LOL
Wah, what a party! We all go clubbing when we see you in June?
Vel: Ya lo ya lo. But then I'm very reserved when meeting new people leh. I tried talking to them, but after four exchanged sentences then dunno what to say already!
Regarding our CGPA, Hwey already responded. And also maybe it's routine la. Like in primary school, we were always worked up about scoring and then it was brought forward to secondary school. Adding that to the mix is an aunt who is a teacher! So whenever we visit, wah.. tuition man.
Ray: Ah, that's true. But in most situations, I've always been afraid to take the first step, so it's been proving to be very hard for change to occur. Haha.
Nic: Yeah, it's the crowd I'm talking about as well. Urgh! Cannot..!! Cannot ignore CGPA! I know it won't do me nuts if I were to hang around the media industry, but cannot help it la! Prove me right and I might just aim for credit!
You really want to see naked men so much ah??
Hwey: Eh, pubs also a lot of people and got loud music leh. Let's go minum minum when we're back la. Pub okay.
I DO WANNA TAKE GREAT PHOTOS. I just can't afford a DSLR now and don't want to have it around me as yet because I won't be able to give it the attention it deserves. You can't tell wan meh when I whip out the digicam or phone and start turning and twisting it? I got a few great ones lo.
For me, the thing about pageants is that, secretly, I've always wanted to do it because I want to know what's it like; how it works. And because, in some aspects, I disagree with the idea of pageants, and that I think one should have an experience with something they disagree on as well, so thought of trying lo. XD You feel me??
Aiya. Come to think of it, we go buy cheap beer and drink in a park or something la. Can't stand the idea of establishments charging us like crazy just so we feel good.
TKC55: Ha ha ha??? I can see myself going to a club walking around like how dad walks. Just looking around, observing how it is in a club. XP
Hey, you are going through a life that your friends will never be able to have. Look at your own patch of grass, it can be as green as anyone else's.
And it all comes down to hard work and what I make of my life. Shi bu shi? haha. Next sem have to make use of the activities fee we pay our housing management and also meet people la.
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